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The Roman Invasion of Ramsbottom

The Red Brick Auditorium, Square Chapel, Halifax

April 2001

Everyone knows the Romans are famous for their roads, but very few know of the human dramas that lie behind the building of those arrow atraight chariotways that crossed the empire. This play, written by John Wiles, shares some of those secrets.

Conkus Maximus, Minister of Transport, is proud of the latest project - the C6 from Rome to Carlisle - and is visiting Mancunium to open it personally. He, however, is not the only one with an interest. Mafia boss Don Giuseppe Baloni can sense a business opportunity and can visualise spaghetti houses at every junction.

There is just one small problem of which they are unaware: The Roman's Return, Ramsbottom, a typical Lancashire local pub, right on the C6.

The production has live music played by the Hebden Bridge Junior Band. The band was formed in 1971 by Brian Haydn Robinson who continues as Musical Director, teaching and encouraging children aged 7 to 19 to play brass instruments. The band has perfomed widely both locally and abroad.


The Brotherhood

Maserati - Akeel

Fiat - George

Momma - Hayley

Lamborgini - Lucy

Ferrari - Pravindah

Don Guiseppe Baloni - Ryan

Virgil, his secretary - Simon

The Romans (Evil Tribunes)

Sardonicus - Bethan

Acrimonius - Chris B

Sarcasticus - Dean

Parsimonius - Lauren


Ingenius - Adam

Euphonius, a sergeant major - Alex G

Conkus' secretary - Briony

Scandalus - Calum

Gaius Julius Agricola, Governor - Chris K

Congenial - Jennie

Samba, a majorette - Jodie

Minimus - Matthew

Conkus Maximus - Neale

Poisonus - Robert

Plonkus, a wine waiter - Alex S

Rufus - Tamar

Hilarius - Tom

Majorettes & Cloggers

April, Clare, Jodie, Katie

Lucy, Martha, Nicola, Stephanie, Vanessa


Cornet - Emma L

Cornet - Tim

Cornet - Martyn

Cornet - Craig

Cornet - Natalie

Cornet - Fay

Cornet - Emma S

Cornet - Kylie

Cornet - Bridget

Cornet - Matthew

Fleugelhorn - Tara

Fleugelhorn - Rory

Tenor Horn - Jenny

Tenor Horn - John

Baritone - Ben T

Baritone - Richard

Euphonium - Ellen

Roman Aristocrats

Frigida, very posh - Amanda

Lady Supercelia, a pea brained yuppie - Amy B

Cotta, a typical aristo - Amy L

Julia, Brutus' bossy wife - Chiara

Labienus, down to earth - Daniel Sm

Julius Brutus, a glutton - Daniel Sy

Pompus Monotonus, Supercelia's husband - Oliver 

Philipa, slightly catty - Phoebe

The Britons

Connie Clegg - Abby

Accrington Stanley - Alex D

Wally Winterbottom - Alex S

Elsie Shuttleworth, bossy wife - Amy S

Gracie Trotter - Andrea

Bertha Blenkinsop - April

Bet Clitheroe - Clare

Sam, the pianist - Dave Nelson

Little Lil - Elise

Victoria Trotter - Emma W

Jack Trotter - Gordon

Annie Trotter - Helen

Albert Trotter - Jude Murphy

Feda Howard - Lisa

WPC Gloria - Nicola

Sidney Shuttleworth, hen pecked husband - Robert 

Dolly Diggle - Ruth

Vera Platt - Vanessa

Trombone - Clive

Trombone - George M

Trombone - Freya

Trombone - Holly

Bass - Ben M

Bass - Monica

Bass - Heather

Bass - Elizabeth

Percussion - George

Guest Players

Cornet - Mark Robinson

Tenor Horn - Claire Gallagher

Tenor Horn - Sarah Rawlinson

Trombone - Andrew Eastwood

Musical Director - Brian Haydn Robinson

Directed by Robert Garrett & Gail Waddington

Music fdirected by Dave Nelson

Set by Tony Clark & Chris O'Ryan

Lighting by Laurence Dowson & Tony Clark

Coatume by Aileen Walker, Tracy Drake, Jo Hallgarth, Sue Margetts, Jan Holden & Rose Helme

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